Thursday, September 9, 2010

Untitled by Megan T

Untitled
Notes: - Means they should be interrupted.

GIRL ONE
So where would you like this on-

GIRL TWO
Ummm…

GIRL ONE
Your back or your arm or…

GIRL TWO
My back I think, I mean-

GIRL ONE
I’m willing to try it-

GIRL TWO
It’s the largest space…

GIRL ONE
Elsewhere if that’s... Okay. So just lay down. I’m sorry. I know the shower curtain isn’t that comfortable. I ruined my favorite zebra towel the last time I did this, and I haven’t found a new one.

GIRL TWO
Its fine, I kinda like the texture.
(Rubs her hand along it)

GIRL ONE
Okay so I’ve lit the candles. You know this is the first time I think I’ve done this with a girl who isn’t attracted to other girls, you’re just-

GIRL TWO
Well, it’s not that I’m-

GIRL ONE
More straight and I don’t usually-

GIRL TWO
Totally heterosexual, I’m just-

GIRL ONE
Top girls who aren’t bisexual…

GIRL TWO
More straight than most girls in the scene. Or so I’ve been told.

GIRL ONE
Okay so, oh. Do you want to put your hair up? I don’t want it to get caught in the wax.

GIRL TWO
Sure.

GIRL ONE
Okay, I’m going to do a test drop on you… There. How was the temperature on that?

GIRL TWO
Good, I mean I dunno-

GIRL ONE
I don’t have my thermometer with me and I-

GIRL TWO
How it’s supposed to feel…

GIRL ONE
Don’t want to burn you. Okay I’m going to try another candle. There how…

GIRL TWO
Ow, that’s a litte too-

GIRL ONE
Are you sure that it’s…

GIRL TWO
Hot. Okay, it’s seriously burning me, get it-

GIRL ONE
Okay, hold still I’ll pour-

GIRL TWO
Off, oww oww..
(Deep breath)

GIRL ONE
Some ice water on it-

GIRL TWO
(Whines lightly)

GIRL ONE
There, does that…

(Silence for a moment)

Okay I’ve gotten the wax off. But I’m a little worried with how pink your skin is.

GIRL TWO
(Deep breath)
The ice made it worse. Like my body didn’t know–

GIRL ONE
I’m so sorry…

GIRL TWO
The difference, oh it’s okay. It just didn’t know the difference between the pain from too cold and the pain from too hot.

GIRL ONE
Umm, so how does this-

GIRL TWO
Ow!

GIRL ONE
Feel, ya, I think we need to run some cold water over it in the shower, why don’t you-

GIRL TWO
I kinda feel like that-

GIRL ONE
Go in the bathroom and-

GIRL TWO
Would hurt more.

GIRL ONE
Just have it run over you.

GIRL TWO
Okay. Uh, I’ll be right back.

GIRL ONE
Tell me if you need any help would you?

GIRL TWO
Umm, okay.

3 comments:

  1. Notes from Roy:
    Lots to like in this scene. There's a nice subtle conflict in the scene between One and Two. One clearly is more motivated and pushes forward, while Two is more reluctant and hesitant in the actions.

    This contrast is also character based. One seems more heedless of her actions, but a person who's intent on doing what she wants to do, even though she's missing certain essential elements, like the thermometer. Two is a more hesitant individual, with a reluctance to speak up. Even hurting she's not really assertive.

    The muted sexuality adds to the sense of tension, and there's lots of great comedy that's based in the character contrasts.

    One other note: This piece is also a good illustration of why we read scenes in class. We all have a better understanding of the techniques of the scene, for instance the talking over each other, that were clearly illustrated in the reading.

    Roy

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  3. -some really wonderful moments in this scene. The way suspense and awkwardness with overlapping and interrupting dialogue is wonderful. It's a great way to not only ground the characters in the moment, but also make it very funny. And it works because you are forcing these people to constantly push forward with they are saying and doing.
    -I ruined my favorite zebra towel the last time I did this- a great line. Sets up history and quirky detail.
    - I’m a little worried with how pink your skin is.- again great detail, and an observation the characters can make, but the viewer can't see. It brings the people watching even further into the scene. it's subtle, but it makes it all that much more real. And it's funny.
    - this is the first time I think I’ve done this with a girl who isn’t attracted to other girls- again, a funny line that also shows a history of the two characters and a personality of the two.
    -You are using some wonderful writing conventions here, but you've also found a way to make them vital and new. Keep up the good work

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