Saturday, September 11, 2010

Nahht Fer Fighya Fightahs by Rebecca Vertun

Can we tahlk about yer haihh for a moment? Just one second I wanna tahlk about it. No dohne fix it like yer doin’ that’s not why eye wanna talk to ya. I’m serious it was somethin’ that happened almost immediately (sweets). It’s like, you walked infronatha fuckin’ cross wahlk on Beekon Street infroname an’ hit the top ah myhe caah an' all I could think when I saw you was oh fuck……I’m fucked. We’ya both fucked. You know it was that way too dohne go tryin’ tah say somethin’ different. Remembah when I took you to the hospital, an' all you could do was hold myhe hand in and outta consciousness. Someone asked me if you were my wife an' all I could think tah say was well…not yet. But someday. ‘Cause we’re both fucked darlin’ an' it’s always been that way fer us together. You an’ me. On Beekon Street. You …’ me. Or at least…it was that way beforah Chahhlie came into the picha. That fuckin’ jack-off. I knew it was bad when he asked me one night fer ya numbah, and I said, “Fuck off chahles. Nahht fer you.” An’ look I know shit happened with you an’ me. Shit went on an’ that was a long-ass time ago. But now I’ve got all that shit taken care of an’ werked out, ya know. An’ yer hairs no different than it usedtah be. ‘sept maybe you dohne comb it like ya used to…or at all really. Do you comb it? Fuck, I dohne give a shit. Evah since the fiyah, I’ve been thinkin’ about all the shit, ya know? Like, all that fuckin’ shit that brought you an’ me apart and got Chahhlie in the picha in the first place. An’ I know, we’hre pahtnahs and whatevah, but I’m nahht talkin’ about pahtnahs, I’m talkin’ about you an’ me. An’ that fucked up hairstyle you got goin’ on nowadays. Hey, it was jus’ a moment. I asked if we could talk about it for a moment, aright? Look, will you just stay with me? Jus’ stay in this cahh with me and fuck it. Fuck Chahhlie an' the pahtnah thing. Fuck the whole academy an' Laddah sixteen in Cambridge. You an’ me, (sweets). I’d give it all to hell to have it be you an’ me again.


  1. Notes from Roy:
    Good piece full of desire and emotion. The character vaguely describes events that happened between himself and the person he's addressing, but the main topic is his want to have more, though he never explicity states that either.

    The voice has a good unique quality to it, and there's a sense of many experiences that underlie it. I'm intrigued to know more about the character, and the relationship that he's so full of emotion about. Who is he? Who is she? Why did she change her hair? Why aren't they together? Why are they sort of together? Who's Charlie?

    Lots of dramatic opportunities. One thing I wonder about is what kind of accent, and where are they?


  2. -”Remembah when I took you to the hospital, an' all you could do was hold myhe hand in and outta consciousness. Someone asked me if you were my wife an' all I could think tah say was well…not yet. But someday.” I love this line. The romanticism, the desire. The drive. Tells a lot about both her and him.
    -”Jus’ stay in this cahh with me and fuck it.”. Something about this line - perhaps the simplicity, was beautiful. Said it all. It was desperate, like he is, but not pathetic. Seemed to fit.
    -The hair is a symbol for their relationship. He wants the hair the way it was, and them the way they were. Simple and breezy symbolism. effortless on your part (seemingly), and strong. It’s good but it doesn’t beat you over the head.
    -He says a lot with out saying much. or is it he talks a lot but doesn't say a lot. nice. real.
    - Something to think about when writing in an accent, (and this comment is neither good or bad, you should just know what function it serves) the reader/actor will pre judge character based on accent and thickness. This is a working class Bostonian, who hardly ever leaves, with presumably little education based on accent. Last week she was a very uneducated Southern woman. The danger is people will jump to conclusions and think they are right without another thought. It’s can be effective when you want that to happen but work against you when you don’t. Again, not good or bad (though you do have an ear for it), you should just know the effect it has.