Randall Jong's Untitled

Randall Jong
CW 602.
9/2/10

(Girl and Boy in a bare apartment. Girl is standing putting items in a box. Boy is in the corner putting items in boxes.)

GIRL:
Mom stopped loving me when you popped out.

BOY:
You don’t honestly believe that.

GIRL:
Sometimes I do. When there’s proof. When she calls for you instead of me. When she gives you the extra slice of things.

BOY:
Where do you want me to put your comforter?

GIRL:
We are not packing any of my bed sheets yet. Stick with the fragiles, and make sure they are layered with bubble wrap. I don’t want to sip on a jagged wine glass and cut my lip and bleed all over the furniture and embarrass myself to future guests. Possibly my future husband. Who will not marry me because I’ll be that sloppy, bleeding lip girl who cannot get a break because her brother cannot pack a goddamn wine glass.

BOY:
So you want me to layer everything with the bubble wrap?

GIRL:
Yes.

BOY:
You could just tell me that. You didn’t have to burn your own future.

GIRL:
I don’t have the time to tell you what to do. I have to do my own packing, and I have to worry about these people coming over for that futon anytime soon. I’m not mom, I’m not dad, I’m not your boss. I expect you to know where things go. At least use your common sense; fragile items can what? What can they do?
(short pause)
What can they do?


BOY:
Break.

GIRL:
You get a gold star. They can break. So you layer them with bubble wrap. Because what does bubble wrap do? What does bubble wrap do?

BOY:
Protect things that break.

GIRL:
Awww…maybe you are ivy-league material. It protects the fragile things. Wrap them up and put them in the box and don’t forget to breathe.

(Two knocks on the door)

GIRL
Futon people. Clear the boxes so that they can take a look.
(opens door)
HELL-O.

CAROL
You’re Angie?

GIRL
Yes. You are…Mike and Carol?

CAROL
That’s right. So where is it?

GIRL
Right in there. Oh, if you could take off your shoes. This landlord is brutal with the security deposit especially with the floors.

CAROL:
We lived in this building last year. Totally got less than half of our deposit back because of the floor marks. Floor marks, you know…how stupid.
(to the futon)
This is lovely. What do you think Mike?

MIKE:
(bouncing on the futon)
Amazing.

CAROL
He adores furniture. Okay. Forty is the agreed price? Okay. Can we come back to pick this up…say around two o’clock?

GIRL
Of course. I won’t be here.
(points to boy)
But he will.

(the couple start to exit by the front door. Carol whispers to Angie)

CAROL
You guys are making the right move. Before Mike and I got married, we were living together in a shitty studio like this and it really killed the vibe. You know, it was too cramped to do anything. How long have you guys been together?

GIRL:
You guys…oh…you mean…?

(Carol points to the Boy in the back)

GIRL:
We are…we just…we actually…We’re actually getting married in the Spring. Moving back to San Francisco. More space out West. A place to raise children, if we ever decide to have children.

CAROL
Seriously, you’re making a good move. Your fiancé is a cute one too. Got boyish features, that’s a rarity.

GIRL
Oh does he? I never noticed.

(Boy comes up to them)

MIKE:
(To the boy)
Congratulations man. Takes a lot of will power to tie the knot.

BOY
Uh…Thank you. Knots can be hard to tie, depends on the kind of rope.

CAROL
It only gets harder from here.

BOY
Right.

(they all nervously laugh)

GIRL
Okay, we will see you guys at two.

CAROL
Whoever said life is full of disappointment is a liar. Keep that in mind.

MIKE
Cheers.

(Mike and Carol exit.)

BOY
Friendly and wise. That guy was talking about tying a knot. Did you understand that?

GIRL
Pack the goddamn boxes. Remember fragiles layered with bubble wrap, and don’t ask me again.

(curtain)