Susan tells the girls she is headed out to see her esthetician for a waxing. However in the next scene, we see her sitting on a leather sofa ranting to her shrink, Dr. Gawken.
I told Richard he has to take the girls on his next trip to the Bahamas. The money just isn’t enough to keep them happy, as much as it is for me-- I’m just concerned they need more of a tangible investment from him, like actually being a father.
I can’t imagine being up against his whiny wife. That whiny, skinny, demented, childlike doll figure, oh god it just makes me nauseous….
And while I’m on the subject of sickening disappointments- Annabelle is kissing girls and Paige doesn’t do anything but stay home and read… Sometimes on the patio though… Paige will read in the sun and peel tangerines. And I look at Paige’s life, so normal, or how she manages to appear so normal- as she deals with her obnoxiously vein and unfair mother1 … but who doesn’t to some degree? My mom stayed home most of my life, very ill, while I shed sweat and tears caring for her, and then she left me- she took her own life and I hate her for that.
So unless I suddenly decide to kill myself from this island of riches, I’d say I’ve done a damn good job for my girls. I don’t know though, there are times when I catch Paige looking at me, looking into me like she really could kill me…and it’s as if she knows Richard isn’t her father- that I’ve been lying to her all this time, time stops and I feel that lump of guilt I’ve been telling you about…. swelling in my throat.
I always worry if I look right at her, she’ll read it all over my face…
And I guess I could shut my mouth and stop embarrassing her… but shit…I talk the way I talk because she needs to hear it, just like anyone deserves to know the pain before the blind-sided crash. Life isn’t peachy out there for anyone. She acts all smart and proper, and calm, rolling her eyes at our dysfunctional family, when really – that “functional” family she thinks is out there...Ya, that family doesn’t exist.
It’s just me, that’s all she’s got! And Richard, the one she says she most relates to, well all be damned- good for her. And I’ll really be damned if he ever finds out about this.
Lucky for me the biological father doesn’t have a clue and could be dead for all I know, so that leaves the only other known resource to be …..my own relentless conscience. And I really just wish it would let me fucking sleep- that reminds me, I’m here because I need a re-fill on my Ambien…
By: Andi Smith